CAVA is a mnemonic for the four underlying goals a manipulator is chasing: Control, Approval, Validation, and Attention. It pairs with FOG: Fear, Obligation, Guilt (Manipulator Levers) (the lever) — FOG names how pressure is applied, CAVA names what the manipulator actually wants underneath the behavior.
Correctly identifying which CAVA goal is in play lets you address the underlying need directly, on your own terms, rather than reacting to the surface behavior — the core move described in Mirror Their Intentions, Not Their Actions. E.g., if the real goal is Attention, giving calm, controlled attention (rather than none, or a reactive outburst) removes the incentive to escalate. This complements Non-Confrontational Manipulation Countertactics Toolkit, where each scripted response is framed as addressing a CAVA goal without conceding to the manipulative behavior itself.