A fork between two things that look identical from the outside — both involve holding back a reaction — but are claimed to diverge entirely in cause and consequence, from "Become the DEFAULT Leader" (NCI Lecture Vault):
The distinction matters for Embrace Silence / Self-Granted Pause and Non-Reaction-Seeking Body Language: withholding a reaction only counts as "behavioral dominance" or the "default leader" posture if the withholding comes from a place of power rather than fear of the consequences of reacting. The same silence, sourced from fear, is repression and curdles into resentment rather than authority.
Craving affection, praise, adoration, or compliments is offered as a diagnostic: wanting those things means you are "under control" (by external validation), not "in control" — a marker that restraint in that moment would be repression rather than control.