33:03
dating/pickup technique
Advanced game hinges on getting a woman to chase rather than the man chasing her, and that outcome is set in the first 30 seconds by executing opening as a precise multi-step sequence — angle, pre-open, eye contact, pacing, strategic pauses, opener, pause, follow-up — not by reciting a clever line.
The key to advanced game is getting the girl to chase; if she's engaging heavily within the first 30 seconds, everything after gets easy, and if not, it's very hard to flip the script later.
Approach angle (positioning/vector relative to the girl) is a major, commonly overlooked variable that guys get wrong.
A pre-open (e.g. 'excuse me') must secure the girl's attention before the opener is delivered; many guys skip this and talk to a half-listening girl.
'Excuse me' outperforms 'hi' as a pre-open, and it may need to be repeated (even 3+ times) with assertiveness and urgency, not just volume.
Eye contact locked in immediately after the pre-open makes a night-and-day difference; scanning the eyes up and down tanks success.
Facial expression matters: a blank 'deer in headlights' look fails, over-smiling fails, and a small smile/smirk driven by genuinely feeling social/confident works best.
Pacing (speech speed) is critical — rushing the opener causes jumbled words and forces a 'huh, what' response.
Deliberate pauses inside and after the opener create open loops and let the girl react; even one pause after a key phrase changes the outcome dramatically.
A pause after the opener, before any follow-up, is essential; blurting the follow-up immediately kills momentum.
If the girl starts self-qualifying or investing mid-opener, drop the rest of the planned line and treat it as an ongoing conversation.
Talking over the girl or not letting her speak is a critical failure mode; the goal is to get her talking, not to dominate.
The follow-up (elaborating on her look/vibe) is essential and high-impact, and works best as a tease, push-pull, or neutral observation rather than a straight compliment.
There are three response tiers to an opener — fully engaged/investing, positive-but-uncommitted (the most common), and overtly negative — and each calls for a different next move (continue naturally, elaborate, or restart).
Once a girl starts asking the man questions (name, where he's from), that's a 'green light' signal that lets him relax.
A false time constraint, used when her attention or body distance wavers, removes pressure from her by signaling the interaction won't go on indefinitely.
Without proper early sequencing, the man must constantly re-supply effort and the girl never starts chasing (likened to wet wood on a smoldering fire).
Deliberately withholding excessive effort/investment is itself an asset because it's what allows the girl to chase.
An opener is not a single line — it's a process/sequence of steps (angle, pre-open, eye contact, pause, opening line, pause, response, follow-up, pause, reaction) that only completes once a real conversation has begun.
For girls who are already attention-saturated or conventionally very attractive, straight compliments/validation ('positive polarity') backfire by putting the man in the generic category of 'all those other guys,' causing rapid loss of interest.
Polarizing content in the opener or follow-up is recommended for harder-to-game girls because it immediately differentiates the man from that generic category of guys.
Indirect/situational openers (e.g. asking for directions) are suboptimal because they take focus off the girl; if used, they should bridge back to a topic about her.
Approach angle — The vector or positioning from which a man approaches a woman (e.g., stopping in front of her vs. from behind, whether she is stationary or moving), described as a major and commonly overlooked variable in opening. Apply: Deliberately choose an approach position suited to the woman's movement and situation before making any attention grab, rather than defaulting to whatever is most convenient.
Pre-open — A short attention-getting phrase or action (e.g., 'excuse me') delivered before the main opening line to secure the woman's attention. Apply: Say 'excuse me' with urgency and assertiveness — repeating it if needed (the video cites a coach repeating it three times) — until she turns and focuses, before starting the opener itself.
Opening line / Opener — The first substantive statement delivered once attention is secured (e.g., 'you have a very cute look about you'), treated as one step within a larger sequence rather than a self-contained line. Apply: Deliver the opener with volume, clarity, and deliberate pacing, and pause afterward to get her response before adding anything else.
Eye contact lock — Making direct eye contact immediately after the pre-open, described as producing a 'night and day' difference in outcome versus not doing so, with eye-scanning (looking up/down) hurting results. Apply: Lock eyes with her right after the pre-open grabs her attention, and hold steady eye contact rather than scanning her body during that moment.
Facial expression calibration — Deliberate control of facial expression during the approach — avoiding a blank 'deer in headlights' look and avoiding over-smiling, aiming for a small smile or smirk driven by genuine social feeling. Apply: Hold a small smile or smirk rather than a neutral or overly wide grin, letting authentic confident/social feeling generate the expression instead of consciously forcing it.
Pacing (speech speed) — The speed and clarity of opener delivery; rushing causes jumbled words and prompts a confused 'huh, what' reaction from the woman. Apply: Slow down and enunciate the opening line clearly rather than rushing through it.
Strategic pauses — Deliberate pauses placed mid-opener, such as right after a key phrase (e.g., 'you have...'), that create an open loop and give the woman space to react. Apply: Insert a pause after a key word or phrase within the opener before finishing it — the video claims even a single well-placed pause dramatically shifts the outcome.
Post-opener pause — A pause held after finishing the opening line, before offering any follow-up, so the woman responds first. Apply: Stop talking after delivering the opener and wait for her reaction instead of immediately continuing with a follow-up, since blurting it out is flagged as a common failure that kills momentum.
Follow-up / Elaboration — A second statement elaborating on the woman's appearance or vibe, framed as an observation, tease, or push-pull rather than a straight compliment. Apply: After she responds to the opener, add a follow-up that teases or gives a neutral/push-pull description of her instead of more direct validation, to build tension and investment.
Response-tier calibration — A three-way read of how a woman responds to the opener — fully engaged/investing, positive-but-uncommitted (the most common case), or overtly negative — that determines what to do next. Apply: If she's positive-but-uncommitted, elaborate further; if negative, abandon that opener and start fresh; if she's already fully engaging, drop the rest of the planned line and follow her lead.
False time constraint — A statement signaling limited availability, deployed when the woman's attention or body positioning (e.g., distance drifting past roughly a foot) starts to waver. Apply: When you notice her attention fading or her body distancing, mention a time constraint to remove pressure from her and signal the interaction is finite rather than open-ended.
Tonality / tone of voice — The vocal quality — playfulness, confidence, perceived authority — used while delivering the opener and follow-up. Apply: Match tone of voice to a confident, playful impression throughout the opener and follow-up rather than a flat or nervous delivery.
Tease / push-pull — A follow-up style that blends a positive observation with a mild negative or teasing remark to create tension instead of pure validation. Apply: Combine a compliment-adjacent observation with a light tease or challenge in the follow-up rather than complimenting the woman outright.
Positive polarity (flagged pitfall) — An opener/follow-up style built entirely on validation and compliments; flagged as a mistake with women already saturated with male attention, since it lumps the man into the generic category of 'all those other guys.'. Apply: Avoid pure-compliment or validating language with conventionally attractive or attention-saturated women — the video states this visibly causes her to lose interest once she perceives the man in that category.
Polarizing opener/follow-up — A deliberately divisive or non-consensus statement used in the opener or follow-up to stand out with harder-to-game, attention-saturated women. Apply: For high-difficulty targets, use polarizing content in the opener or follow-up instead of safe/neutral compliments so as to immediately differentiate from the generic pool of approachers.
Indirect opens / bridging — An opener built on a situational pretext (e.g., asking for directions) rather than a direct statement about the woman, paired with 'bridging' — steering the topic back to her. Apply: Treat situational/indirect openers as suboptimal since they remove focus from the girl; if one is used, bridge quickly from the situational topic to something relevant to her.
Master opening sequence — The full named sequence taught in the video: angle → pre-open → eye contact → pause → opening line → pause → get response → follow-up → pause → react — presented as what an 'opener' actually is, as opposed to a single scripted line. Apply: Run through each step in order on every approach; the video states that a broken or skipped early step (e.g., a weak angle or pre-open) can sink the interaction even when later delivery is flawless.
The model treats 'effort' as something to strategically withhold, not maximize — over-investing early is framed as actively preventing the chase dynamic the whole system is built to produce.
Diagnosing failure is framed as step-localization, not overall skill: a student's delivery can be flawless while one specific earlier step in the sequence (angle, pre-open, a missing pause) breaks the whole chain, so coaching must isolate which step failed rather than judge the interaction holistically.
The advice to avoid straight compliments inverts with target difficulty: neutral/teasing follow-ups are the default, but with highly attention-saturated women even mild validation is reclassified as a liability that visibly triggers disinterest, per the source's own account of watching it happen on a girl's face.
A single micro-behavior (one pause after one word, e.g. after 'you have...') is claimed to produce a disproportionate shift in outcome — the model locates a lot of leverage in sub-second delivery choices rather than in content/wording.
The false time constraint is positioned as reactive, not scripted — deployed specifically when attention/body-distance cues (e.g. drifting past roughly a foot) signal waning interest, rather than delivered on a fixed timer.
«excuse me excuse me hi»
— 00:00
«you have a very very cute look about you»
— 00:02
«look like you're about to spend the day at Wimbledon»
— 00:21
«the key to Advanced game is getting the girl to Chase»
— 02:00
«if after the first 30 seconds she's engaging with you and talking to you a lot everything else gets easy»
— 02:08
«you have to have the girls attention before you deliver your opener»
— 04:38
«pause after you say you have but I don't know why that thing it makes a huge difference»
— 08:55
«she's trying to say something you're talking over the top of her literally just shut up»
— 10:23
«the lack of effort is is an asset in itself»
— 17:02
«an opener is not a line you know it's not like a here's the line it's the this is the process of things that have to happen to get you from not being in a conversation to in a conversation»
— 21:29
«you automatically stand out because it's like here's this huge subcategory of guys that the girl has zero interest in and you automatically take yourself out of that category»
— 27:21
Reception
Solidly positive reception with engaged viewers appreciating the coaching techniques, though skepticism about whether the methods work equally well for non-attractive men tempers the enthusiasm.
The video frames opening not as a scripted line but as a granular, ordered sequence of micro-behaviors (angle, pre-open, eye contact, pacing, pauses, follow-up, response-reading), presented by Todd V and coach James as the mechanism by which a man gets a woman to chase him rather than vice versa. It is a coherent, internally consistent framework backed by an infield demonstration, though several commenters note the demonstrated infield example may reflect an already-interested target rather than proof of the technique's difficulty-independence.
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